Where am I?
You're dead. You're in heaven. Be happy.
I'm dead? This is heaven? Where's the pearly gates?
They're a myth. Forget about them.
You sure?
Don't believe everything you read.
But. . . What about Angel Gabriel?
Gabe? Gabe's not here. You got me instead. Murray.
Murray? Who are you?
I'm your guardian angel. So shut up and sign in.
Where's. . . god?
He ain't here neither. On vacation, I think.
Vacation? He goes on vacation? From heaven?
He gets real bored, actually. Can't blame him.
Where does he go?
Oh, he's got a place on a lake.
He does?
Yeah. One of those inland seas in Michigan. It's, like, heavenly.
I have to say, I'm disappointed. This place is. . .
Is what?
It's so. . . I don't know, trashy, and. . . filthy.
Hey, listen up! God likes it this way!
He does? But why?
So that all you morons with your heads up your asses can clean it! Be halfway useful for once!
Excuse me?
That's right. Self-righteous hypocritical pricks, is all you are.
God says that?
Says more than that, actually. But you didn't hear it from me, understand?
Sure, ok.
You flap your lips, I'll fuck you up. Got it?
Are you sure this is heaven?
Hey! What'd I just tell you? You disrespecting me?
No sir. Not at all. It's just. . .
This ain't no country club! This is heaven, dammit! You're here to work? Got it?
Yes, sir.
You people are so dumb. Believing in miracles.
But. . . but, they promised us eternal life, with the lord!
Lord's got no time for that, fool! Now go see Leon.
Who's he?
Your crew boss. Your lord and master from now on.
Are you sure this isn't a bad dream?
Dream? Ha! Ain't no sleeping allowed here!
So just tell me: if this is heaven, what's hell like?
Ain't no hell. Just heaven. Had to downsize.
Downsize?
Yeah. Because of the economy. So you missed hell.
I feel so lucky.
That means nothing to me. Now get your ass to work!