Your Opinion of Me Is Not My Problem, You Muppet
Or: Why Other People’s Opinions Are Largely Irrelevant :-)

There comes a moment in life when it suddenly clicks:
You’re not living your life.

You’re living the life other people quietly expected you to live.

You wear clothes that are “appropriate”.
You say things that “land well”.
You chase goals that look impressive from the outside.

And all the while, you’re running after a phantom:
Approval from people you barely know.
Opinions from people who don’t understand you.
Applause from an audience that will forget your name by Tuesday.

You’re performing in a play you never wanted to write.

It’s time to leave the stage.

Because here’s the liberating truth no one tells you:
Their opinion of you is not your problem.
It’s theirs.

Welcome to the moment you stop performing and start living.

The Illusion of Other People’s Opinions
(or: Why You Bend Yourself for People Who Will Never Get You Anyway)

Imagine waking up in the morning and your first thought is:
“What will people think?”

Not: What do I want today?
Not: What feels right?
Not: Who am I?

Just: What will people think?

And “people” is a wonderfully vague concept.
An imaginary committee in your head.
They never meet, yet they judge constantly.

Your mum (well-meaning, often misguided).
An old classmate (irrelevant since 2013).
Your ex (long moved on, while you’re still proving you’re fine).
Random people online (who won’t remember your name tomorrow).
The neighbour (who probably isn’t thinking about you at all — but just in case).

And somehow, these are the people you let run your life.

People who:

aren’t actually in your life

don’t pay your bills

don’t dream your dreams

don’t live with your consequences

Yet you hand them the remote control.

Pause.
Volume down.
Switch off.

Here’s the twist:
Most of them aren’t thinking about you at all.
They’re far too busy worrying about what you think of them.

Welcome to the grand theatre of mutual projection.
Everyone performing.
No one watching.

The Five Stages from People-Pleaser to Free Human

Stage 1: The Perfect Person
“If everyone likes me, I’m safe.”
Duration: Years. Sometimes a lifetime.
Symptoms: Constant nodding, quiet resentment, permanent exhaustion.
Status: Danger. This is the Matrix.

Stage 2: The First Crack
“Whatever I do, someone’s unhappy.”
Duration: Weeks to months.
Status: Awakening. Uncomfortable, but necessary.

Stage 3: The Rebellion
“Actually — sod it. I’ll do what I want.”
Duration: A few months.
Side effects: Overcorrection, arguments, new haircut. A classic.
Status: Liberating, but unstable.

Stage 4: The Balance
“I listen. Then I decide.”
Duration: Ongoing.
Status: Mature. With occasional relapses.

Stage 5: Freedom
“I live my life. Full stop.”
Duration: Forever — if you stay conscious.
Status: Free.

The goal isn’t to die in Stage 1.
Or get stuck showing off in Stage 3.
The goal is to live in Stage 5.

The Brutal Truth About Opinions

Everyone has one about you.
Your mum. Your boss. Your neighbour.
Someone you met once. Someone who saw your post while on the loo.

That’s normal.
The human brain is an opinion-generating machine.

But here’s the key point:
Their opinion says far more about them than about you.

“Too loud” — their need for quiet.
“Too ambitious” — their own fear.
“Too strange” — their narrow definition of normal.

Their opinion is their film.
Their experiences. Their fears. Their values. Their wounds.

And that film is playing in their head.
Not yours.

You are not the director of their inner cinema.
You are not responsible for how they interpret you.

And that — once you let it sink in — is wonderfully freeing.

The Wrong Question

When facing a decision, you often ask:
“What will people think?”

Wrong question.

The right one is:
What do I think?

Not: Will they approve?
But: Do I respect this choice?

Not: Will they understand?
But: Do I understand myself?

Not: What does the internet say?
But: What does my gut say?

At the end of your life, you won’t think:
“I’m glad I pleased everyone.”

You’ll think:
“I wish I’d listened to myself sooner.”

The Moment It Clicks

At some point — often after a particularly ridiculous comment — it happens.

You realise:
It doesn’t matter.

Not because you’re numb.
But because you’re clear.

You can do everything right and still be criticised.
You can bend yourself into knots and still disappoint someone.

Because it’s not about you.
It never was.

And that is not your problem.

Your only real question is this:
Are you living your life — or the one you think others expect?

The Highest Form of Freedom

Freedom isn’t doing whatever you want.
Freedom is being who you are.

Without explanation.
Without justification.
Without permission.

The short version:

You cannot please everyone. (Jesus couldn’t. Buddha couldn’t.)

Their opinion is their responsibility.

Your truth is your job.

Freedom is a daily practice.

The Point

From now on:

Opinions — noted.
Criticism — thank you, I’ll decide what to do with it.
Disappointment — unfortunate, but not my responsibility.

You don’t owe anyone a version of yourself that fits their narrative.
You owe yourself one thing: authenticity.

The right people stay.
Not because you’re perfect.
But because you’re real.

The rest leave.
And that’s not a loss.

Epilogue

Being considerate does not mean abandoning yourself.
Being kind does not mean shrinking.
Being empathetic does not mean self-erasure.

You can:
Have boundaries and be a good person.
Listen to feedback and choose your own path.
Care about others and stay loyal to yourself.

Their opinion of you is not your problem.
It’s their film.

Your task is your life.

Camera rolling.
Sound on.
Action. ♥

P.S. If someone calls this selfish — excellent.
That’s their opinion. You know exactly where to put it.