Good morning, Herr Doktor.
My boy! Look at this!
What is it?
A major scientific journal is publishing my latest groundbreaking thesis!
Great! What's the topic?
Through precision field testing, I've determined that the longer a particular cow has been lying down, the more likely it is that it will soon stand up!
Wow.
And that's not all! I have answered the eternal question of whether, once a cow stands up, it can be predicted when it will lie down again!
Can it be?
Not without severe and persistent encouragement! Brilliant, eh? Please put these scientific tools away.
A cattle prod? And jumper cables? And what's all over your clothes?
Oh yes.At the moment I jumped on the supine cow it unexpectedly rolled over onto its back. Things turned a little . . intimate, in a manner of speaking.
Mercy!
Actually, her name was Bernice.