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Prototype v.1.0.0

Originally this was the template for a prototype android known as v.1.0.0. Although superficially convincing and loaded with extensive data banks, the Far East manufacturers were criticised for skimping on the oral function after it was found that the English-speaking models communicated haltingly and frequently confused one vowel sound for another. The prototype was never put into production because the U.S. importers claimed their customer base would be unable to understand the android's vocal rhythm and tonality. Only later was it discovered that the separate speech-mode disk drive was in fact a faithful reproduction of the late Brian Sewell's strangulated oral delivery. By then of course the project had foundered for want of investment and the few remaining demonstration models are stored flat in secure warehouses as this prevents accidental broadcasts from the units which remain functional.
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6 comments

John FitzGerald said:

Another problem was their propensity to run off and join circuses, where they could get paid. A friend of mine's ended up as a demo derby driver for the Williams twins. I think it occasionally filled in for Walt in the twins' trampoline act, which was conducted 50' in the air.
11 days ago

The Limbo Connection replied to John FitzGerald:

Who'd have thought this photo of a redundant cardboard box could lead to circuses, acrobatics, entertainment on a 50' pole, hell driving and stunt men? But that's where photography can take you, providing you are prepared to take pictures of zero artistic merit. Anyway, I am still angry that the careers teacher at my school offered only teaching, farming, the armed services, and ... er ... had I thought about teaching? Nothing about being a circus acrobat, or a lighthouse keeper, Ponzi scheme management, import/export agencies, escapology, piracy, begging for spare change. Not even engine driving! Just teaching, really.
Thanks once again for extending my knowledge and indulging my wilder flights of fancy. I'm guessing you were once a teacher of the highest calibre. Maybe you met my old careers adviser.
11 days ago

Ingo Krehl said:

:-)
11 days ago ( translate )

John FitzGerald replied to The Limbo Connection:

I took a vocational aptitude test once that said I had interests similar to those of ministers of religion and log graders. At the time I thought that since I was a) an atheist, and b) physically unfit, I would enjoy neither of those positions. Perhaps if I had been less ready to dismiss them....
8 days ago

The Limbo Connection replied to John FitzGerald:

I love those vocational aptitude tests. My careers teacher (referred to above) was quite startled by my results after I submitted entirely honest answers to a Careers Research and Advisory Centre questionnaire. But looking back, that exercise was really illuminating and instructive.
I didn’t know you had to believe in a Deity to become a minister of religion; I feel sure many clerics do not actually believe. Their occupation or vocation (you choose) is akin to acting on the stage or being a politician. It can be hard to tell them apart. That is why they dress distinctively. It’s not just that they want us to salute and defer to them (although they crave this most of all); it is so that we actually can tell what they are.
8 days ago

John FitzGerald replied to The Limbo Connection:

Yes, I think I should have considered my options more carefully. I have good enough hair to be a successful evangelist, for example. But I wasted it.
3 days ago