I shopped here one time with my dear friend called Vinnie
Who wanted a pair of blue jeans that were skinny,
He tried on a sample so tight that he fainted
They looked on him as if they'd been painted.

A far-stretched tale, I will be bound!
Mere fitful fancy while bumming around!
This shop, it does not deal in togs,
But only books and travelogues.

I stand corrected my dearest of friends
I cannot keep up with all of these trends
Somewhere close by must have been our long search
Perhaps it was down at Cancer Research!

Heart Foundation, Scope or Mind,
The kegs were designed for a tiny behind.
Age UK might better suit,
If you're looking to reboot.

Age UK is a wonderful shop
Where Mavis got a revealing top
In velvet and lace with sequins of green
The shop gel said she looked like a queen.

Age UK, the old Age Concern,
The shop to go when you've money to burn.
I once came home with an antique prosthesis,
Which really helped with my hyperkinesis.

Good gracious - I am speechless!

Poor Studley here has lost his voice
And now is left with just one choice,
To write in verse for evermore
Until we're rolling on the floor.

An extra leg is always handy
Especially when feeling fine and dandy,
An extra head is another matter
And could lead to one becoming fatter.

An extra head means an extra mouth
For sending pastries west by south,
Which might result in increased weight,
With bulging tum from too much freight.