Sir, don't move. You're under arrest.
I am? What'd I do?
I saw you pick that scrap of blue paint out of the reflecting pool.
Yeah? So what?
That's not your property. You're under arrest for theft and vandalism, if not other offenses.
You can't be serious! It's a loose piece of paint! It's basically litter!
Show me your papers. We'll notify ICE of your detention.
I'm a U.S. citizen!
Yeah, yeah, they all say that.