And, for the wind-up: Bacon Rolls, Tuna Tidbits, Lobster Bits, Swedish Meat Balls, Chafing Dish Meatballs, Celery Stuffed With Anchovy, Shrimp Salad Spread, Bay Scallops With Mustard Sauce, Hot Ham Pinwheels, Steak Tartare, Leek and Onion H'ors D'Oeuvre, Deviled Eggs With Aspic, Guacamole, Mock Caviar, Deviled Eggs (flavored with cheese, chutney, seafood, or bacon), and Cream Cheese Puffs.

A comprehensive overview of every time-consuming thing that Trader Joes™ has now made totally unnecessary. (Amen.)