Calidius Eroticus sibi et Fanniae Voluptati vivus fecit.

‘copo, computemus.’
‘habes vini sextarium unum, panem asse uno, pulmentarium assibus duobus.’
‘convenit.’
‘puellam, assibus octo.’
‘et hoc convenit.’
‘faenum mulo, assibus duobus.’
‘iste mulus me ad factum dabit

Translated as....

Lucius Calidius Eroticus made [this monument], while he was still alive, for himself and for Fannia Voluptas.

‘Innkeeper! Let’s work out the bill!’
‘You’ve had a sextarius of wine, and bread: one as. Relish, two asses.’
‘Okay.’
‘The girl, eight asses.’
‘That’s okay too.’
‘Hay for the mule, two asses.’
‘That bloody mule will be the ruin of me.’

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