For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” [Jeremiah 29:11]

Disappointment, setbacks and adversity “are inevitable parts of life, yet difficult… to deal with.”[1] Yet there is little comfort in knowing this and even when a spiritual explanation is added – “It happens for a reason” – they are still not easy to accept since we often never learn it nor discover how profoundly different things might have been, even the difference between life and death, had we not experienced such a setback or disappointment.

Because of this, as difficult or unrealistic as it seems, we should seek the positive in such setbacks and adversity and manage them in an optimistic light since they are hidden opportunities and valuable lessons that will lead to something better. We should also recognize there are things we cannot control in life and thus should not blame ourselves or simply give up. At the same time, it is perfectly acceptable to grieve over setbacks since mourning is necessary to begin the process of letting go and moving on to pursue the next chapter of the rest of your life that should always focus on attaining what is realistic and achievable.

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) provides an excellent example how to deal with setbacks. In 1915 he sent “a fleet through the Dardanelles Strait [to] capture Constantinople (Istanbul)” and force Turkey out of World War I during the Battle of Gallipoli. His attempt often derided as “Churchill’s folly” ended in complete failure with thousands of deaths. Despite being demoted and suffering utter humiliation, Churchill moved on, redeemed himself and emerged as Britain’s greatest Prime Minister because of his steely resolve and refusal to surrender to the Nazis during World War II.

If you have God in your life, it is easier to deal with setbacks and adversity – though that does not mean you will not experience the same emotions of disappointment, anger and passing feelings of hopelessness. To personalize this, back in 1990 I interviewed for a job at a mid-to-large sized financial services firm. The interview seemed to go well since I was taken on an office tour and shown where I might work – an office with a stunning view overlooking Manhattan. As I thought I had the job since I knew I was qualified, I was very disappointed to put it mildly when I learned I did not get it. I was even angry with God wondering, “How could You let this happen!” – after all, I was faithful to Him, prayed regularly and so on and so on.

Well it was not the end. I got over it and moved on – made two career changes, married, have a family and I am alive! I quote Jeremiah 29:11 at the beginning of this article, because it turned out to be the most fitting explanation for my setback and whose last three numbers through purposeful divine plan are 9:11. To add details, the firm I interviewed with was Canter Fitzgerald. My office was supposed to be above the impact zone in the North Tower of the World Trade Center where no one survived the 9/11 attacks. Had I gotten this job, I never would have met my wife (2007), had a family, met my father and three paternal sisters (2011), a fourth sister through my mother who had been given up for adoption in 1968 (2019) nor had the chance to pursue my passions in writing, digital art and photography. So even though it sounds like a cliché there are people who are alive because of some seemingly mundane setback or disappointment – I know it and live it first hand. It is because of this profound impact that arose out of God’s love and wisdom I am an optimist, embrace His love with reciprocity (if even possible) and trust in His perfect wisdom and plans for me.

With this in mind, I add a few Abrahamic (Judeo-Christian and Islamic) scriptural verses of comfort:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. [Psalm 34:18]

Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.

[Psalm 30:5]

God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love [Him]… [Romans 8:28]

Whoever is guided, is guided for his own good. [Qu’ran: The Night Journey 17:15]

This is why one cannot go wrong when they heed Qu’ran (Family of Imran) verse 33:3 – “Put your trust in God” since no matter what, God never allows one to endure more than they can handle whether it is disappointment, adversity or challenges and only permits them for our personal good.

God wishes to lighten your burden. [Quran: The Women 4:28]

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest… You will find rest for your souls. [Matthew 11:28-29]

And know, one day when our earthly lives have been completed, thanks to Jesus, we will reside in the mansion prepared for us in God’s everlasting heavenly kingdom of love. Until then we can be lifted by the timeless words of Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius (121-180) since with breath and life there is always hope and purpose in this here and now world of ours: