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Ten interesting facts you wouldn’t want to know about me...

This post is a reply to one by Sarah (AKA Half_Jack, AKA Hija de Rebujito) who challenged a number of Ipernitians to tell ten facts about themselves. I have no possibility of filming myself (thank God for that!), so unfortunately you’ll have to do with some text and a few new or unknown pictures.

Forgive me for not passing the assignment to others: I could mention your mom, to put some more pressure on her; otherwise, I fear I don’t know that many people well enough...

1) I am slow. You may have gathered this from the time I needed to answer, Sarah, and it’s true. I feel deeply ashamed. But it also feels good that some are slower.

2) This is where I went to school:

It is still called “Guido de Brès School”, but it is more colorful now than it was in my time (this kind of buildings don’t age very well, and attempts to defy age usually fail, as proven here). The sign says it’s a “Christian Elementary School”; it used to be a “School with the Bible” –perhaps to entrap Catholics who weren’t aware that Guido was a Protestant martyr? Though it was already there when I came (in 1960), you can still see that the second floor was added later.

I wasn’t happy there; only kindergarten was worse. My journey through the various educational institutions led me to believe that life just got better, a belief I still haven’t quite given up.

3) I can do this:

I can do this for hours and hours, depending on the number of cigars available.

4) In my entire life, I have attended two pop concerts, or three –if you’re generous. The first one was more or less obligatory, and I wouldn’t count it: a Golden Earring concert at school (the band had a few hits in the US, too). The second was Paul Simon in 1991; he was on his “Born At the Right Time” Tour, then, and Cora was due some months later, so symbolism was heavy. The last one was a Who concert, in 2007.

BTW, next August I hope to see Eric Clapton and band live.

5) I got involved in some pretty crazy sexual liaisons, ménages à trois and the like, with some scary women, which was all rather sordid.

is what I read in Eric Clapton’s autobiography (p.237, UK edition). I can tell you: I was shocked!

6) In the past, people have thought that I’m

– a girl (I was very little then, and wearing a hooded anorak, but I felt really offended)

– a homosexual (according to the landlady of my future wife)

– the musical clown of Zirkus Krone (it’s hard to recognize someone when he isn’t wearing make-up)

– a famous piano player (famous? yes! a piano player? no!)

– a maniac (walking Robbie, in the heat of the night, I scared a girl to death who had just watched “A Beautiful Mind”; I haven’t seen the movie, and I have no clue how this could happen)

– a Jesus look-alike. Last week, I spent my afternoon break downtown, and a woman distributing flyers told me I looked a lot like Him:

And I don’t even have a beard! Because she didn’t say I actually was Him I refrained from performing a miracle.

7) After not having mastered the guitar (acoustic/electric) and the ukulele, I’m now learning not to play the mandolin. It’s big fun! And because the mandolin has the same tuning as the violin, I eventually won’t be able to play the violin either!

8) The only head-banging I have done is after washing my hair, to help it dry. I stopped doing so because of a whiplash.

9) It took me 49 years to get into hospital. I even was born at home (my mother used to be a midwife herself, and put great faith in her profession), but finally a stupid fall on the Maximilianstraße in Munich led to a shattered elbow –diagnosticized three days later when I still hadn’t seen improvement, and visited a doctor. Two surgeries followed, one to fix the fragments, and another one to remove the metalwork. If you study the picture closely (which I cannot recommend) you can see that there are two cuts.

I pay a fortune for my health insurance, which granted me the services of an orthopedic professor. So the first thing I had to do was sign a document saying that I agreed with someone else doing the surgery, and in the end the professor only removed the stitches (he forgot one, and I had to do a professor’s job myself).

I can’t get my arm quite straight anymore: I’m a cripple ... for 15%, if I remember right. You wouldn’t notice it, though.

10) There are only nine interesting facts about me. When I think of all those people who could go on and on telling interesting things about themselves I feel deeply ashamed...

Oh, I have said that before! Well, at least we have come full-circle!

15 comments

Sherry ~ Rebujito said:

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY DO I HAVE TO EVEN SAY IT???????
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!
AND I CANNOT BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU have put me to shame...I MUST start working on my list Jesus!!!!!
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
16 years ago

Kees replied to Sherry ~ Rebujito:

Thanks, Sherry. Only very few can bear such inconvenient truths, and I’m glad you took them so well, and haven’t blocked me.

“I MUST start working on my list Jesus!!!!!”
Again, I only look (a bit) like Him, you may still call me “Kees”. But yes, you’re right: it’s getting time we hear some new facts about you! :-)
16 years ago

Sherry ~ Rebujito replied to :

16 years ago ( translate )

Kees replied to :

Praise me!
16 years ago

Kees replied to :

Thanks, Nigel! Now that I’ve told everyone ALL ABOUT ME, I have a feeling of standing naked in public –it’s so embarrassing! The more people join me, the less awkward it gets, of course...

Sherry told six things. I didn’t want to say this to her directly, but that isn’t enough. We are entitled to TEN NEW and SHOCKING FACTS about AbsoluteShower! :-)
16 years ago

Sherry ~ Rebujito replied to :

LOL LOL LOL you can say it to me directly I KNOW...but I can't help it I only have six interesting things about me!!! ;-PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
16 years ago

renovatio06 said:

Priceless, Kees! Nevermind about not being a piano player - you're a famous writer and a Jesus look-alike! I have not a doubt in my mind, you'll be invited to the Vatican anytime soon, they'll bribe you with cigars and whatnot, and your working days will be in the past (Also, I'm hearing, they operate on a "handicapped persons with equal ability" rule, leaving it for us to figure out, exactly which limitation the current Pope is conceiling...) Nine interesting facts worth many more ;-)
16 years ago

Kees replied to renovatio06:

Thanks, Werner, I’m glad you liked the nine facts, the tenth (non-)fact paradoxically being the most disgraceful of them all... Well, life has just begun: a real interesting tenth fact may still happen.

Of course, I’d have settled down in the Vatican a long time ago if the Grace of Faith had been bestowed upon me. But if the lack thereof should be considered only a handicap I might still have a chance...
16 years ago

Kees replied to :

Well, you don’t need to confess things that are simply too embarrassing! Next time, you’ll tell me that you’ve ordered “Venus” of Shocking Blue! ;-)

Golden Earring and Shocking Blue are probably the only Dutch bands with some international exposure, but the BEST Dutch band is/was (IMHO) The Outsiders (not to be mistaken for a US group of the same name). Garage rock from the Sixties, and sounding remarkably fresh after all these years. In the US, the group has gained some kind of cult status, and Nirvana has covered some of their songs. The sound is raw, but perhaps not heavy enough for you...
16 years ago

renovatio06 replied to :

"Well, life has just begun: a real interesting tenth fact may still happen." - Really? Your wife's being pregnant? Wow... All the best of luck there! (or whatever greeting/wish is appropriate...)
16 years ago

Kees replied to :

My wife won’t be pregnant anymore, and neither will I. It’s just a feeling I have: I know so little about life, and can’t imagine ever to have lived in “in full” (as you so often see in death notices).
16 years ago

renovatio06 replied to :

I can buy into that, yeah. I hope, I'll eventually get the hang of it, i.e. of living "in full" - prior to my death notice... ;-) And I wish you the same: Strength and a clear insight in choosing and following that path ;-)
16 years ago

Kees replied to :

But I’ve got to hurry! I’d better start immediately... Well, let’s say: tomorrow.
16 years ago

Kees replied to :

Thanks again, Nigel! It’s hard, being an open book, but I suppose it has a therapeutic quality.
As for others joining in, I understand they have to be tagged first, and threatened later. If nothing helps, I’m sure Sherry will gladly stick some needles into them... ;-)
16 years ago

Sherry ~ Rebujito replied to :

OF COURSE I WOULD!!! I'd do anything for you!!! :-D
16 years ago